A Glance on Friendship

The reason for this article being written was a recent event concerning a good friend of mine. Unknown to my blind heart, I didn't know I had fallen in love with him. Only did the painful realization come to the surface when I learned that he has recently entered into a relationship. What made the pain worse was when he told me that it is with the person I myself had introduced a couple of days earlier. Instantly, I felt a bitter mix of emotions of remorse, loss, self-pity, depression, anger, and severe nostalgia. I know it was my fault. Apparently, I committed the blunder of allowing our friendship to become romantic. Little did I know that I had already crossed its vague boundaries blindly without realizing the emotional impact it may have on me. And for that experience, here are some of my thoughts on friendship...

True friendship springs up when two souls find comfort and support in each other.  It is built on trust, concern, self-disclosure, and open communication. It allows us to experience the  happiness of being loved, understood, and accepted.

Friendship is as good as long as boundaries are set clear and understood. Crossing the limits, maybe because they are ambiguous or implicit or perhaps because of a lack of discernment of either of the parties involved, may lead to undue misunderstanding, heartaches or scarred relationships.

In particular, sexual relations between friends tend to alter the relationship, either by “taking it to the next level” or by severing it. For some, it is alright to have sexual relations as long as no deeper emotional strings are involved, giving birth to the term "friends with benefit." For some, friendship ends when sexual relation begins. Depending on the mind set, values, attitude, perceptions and beliefs of the persons involved, sexual relations between friends may either enhance or depreciate the friendship.

On a positive note, a genuine platonic friendship grows and matures through time and lasts throughout the lifetime. It gives that rewarding experience and fulfillment that only genuine friends know. The depth of the relationship may come to the point that a friend becomes "closer than a brother." In many cases, a platonic friendship may also pave the way to a lasting, stable, romantic relationship. It just needs to be with the right person, at the right place, and at the right time.

Friends share common background and goals, and these are what bind them together.  From a discreet yuppie's point of view, friendship comes easy with another discreet yuppie who shares the same issues and concerns in life.   The feeling of belongingness and "sameness" is a strong binding force that keeps them together. Circumstances may affect the course of a friendship, but a true friend won’t allow these circumstances to dictate the outcome of the relationship. True friends stay, false friends leave.

At its best, friendship is a gift freely given to all. It is a blessing given to enrich our lives. It needs to be nurtured for it to grow and mature through time. It needs to be treasured. It needs to be loved.  After all, our human experience is never complete and joyful without true friends who add colors and vibrant details in the tapestry we call life.