Unintentional Promiscuity

What? Untintentional promiscuity? Is there such???

I tell you there is! J

Wikipedia defines promiscuity as sex with relatively many partners.

Now, indulging in promiscuous acts involves conscious decision and active effort. In short, there is intent to engage in such activity. I call this as intentional promiscuity. So then if there is such a thing as intentional promiscuity, there must also be an unintentional promiscuity.

Intentionally promiscuous men are those who are in the habit of having sex with random men just for the purpose of satisfying their sexual needs.  When you go to gay dating sites, they are typically the ones with very suggestive headlines, steamy pictures, and sexually inviting write ups. So here, we see that the intention is to have sex, for the reason of satisfying sexual needs.

On the other hand, unintentionally promiscuous men usually do not actually claim or see themselves as promiscuous. I personally coin the term “unintentional promiscuity” to refer to such situation of homosexual and bisexual men having a series of multiple sexual partners, but without the original intention of being such.  Unintentionally promiscuous men would often maintain that sex was not really their primary intention; it just happened.  Sounds ridiculous? Probably not.  Why? How come?

Somehow, there is some truth to that.  Unintentional promiscuity can happen to anyone. Particularly among discreet gay and bi men, there is that universal longing for someone to fill that empty spot within. This longing for love and affection is strong and enduring.  It is felt as a need to have someone special. However, finding a decent, “perfect” male partner/lover to fulfill that emotional need is difficult.  Finding the perfect guy is quite impossible. This is particularly true to choosy ones who set high and stiff standards on who and how their partner should be. This leads them into attempts at finding and establish a worthwhile relationship with a nice guy that comes along, which more oftenly involves sex. However, more often than not, things fail and the cycle continues again. Guy after another guy… trying, looking, hoping… wishing the best guy to fulfill that longing for someone special to complete and fill that empty spot within would come. And before long, the number of guys stacks up.  So does that now becomes a case of promiscuity? Yes, definitely. Done intentionally? Apparently not.

So is this difference significant? Does this difference sets one a better state than the other? Would a red-colored shirt look different from a white shirt that fell on a basin of red dye? You decide. :)

A Thin Line

            One thing that seems peculiar among homosexual and bisexual men is the thin boundary that separates pure platonic friendship and romantic-sexual relationship.  In many discreet homosexuals, it is not uncommon to have “friends with benefit” and “fuck buddies” as they are called. They claim that sex between friends does not necessarily involve emotion. It is but having a “release” of pent up sexual urges with someone familiar rather than hooking up with a stranger on a “one night stand” basis. This set up further gives the benefit of security, safety, and confidentiality, etc. without having to worry about sexually transmitted diseases, risk of pregnancy, and compatibility, among other issues associated with random sex. It can be expected that sex with a random stranger for the sake of having sex is nothing but a pure physical interaction meant to satisfy the cravings for sexual pleasure.  However, I personally doubt if periodic sex with a “friend” does not really involve emotions.  

Among many, what happens is either romance occurs first followed by a bloom of friendship or vice versa.  On one hand, through the initial sexual attraction and sexual encounter a friendship can be born.  On the other hand, an existing friendship may pave the way to the benefits of mutually enjoying sexual pleasures.

            So why does romantic friendship exist? Most probably, this occurs due to the fact that since bisexual and homosexual men are sexually attracted to their fellow men, a male friend can be at times become a potential object of sexual desire, given the right and favorable circumstance. And since men are generally primarily sexually-motivated, sexual interactions can occur easily. However, to be fair enough, whether this desire consummates to the sexual act is still subject to one’s self-control, discipline, and personal values.

Differing opinions exist regarding this matter.  Some say it is okay as long as you don’t get hurt or hurt anyone in the process as sex is a basic human need and needs to be enjoyed, while others say it is but a sign of moral looseness and sexual depravity. Others also maintain that having a regular “FUBU” friend is a better alternative to being promiscuous.  Whichever the case maybe, clearly, there is but a thin line that separates pure friendship and romantic friendship, particularly among male homosexuals and bisexuals. Is this good or bad? Is sex between friends okay? You be the judge. It’s totally up to you to decide, depending on your perspectives, beliefs, and philosophies in life.

Just a thought about love and pain

I have come to a conclusion that one of the most compelling emotions humans, particularly discreet gay men, harbor is the longing for someone to love and be loved in return. This can motivate and push them to do just about anything to have this emotional need fulfilled even to the point of getting hurt. Why?

Nothing compares to the blissful feeling of being so much in love despite how equally severe the pain that may come with it. However, how worse the pain might be, love is patient, love is kind, love forgives and forgets, and love accepts... unconditionally. Occurrences of painful experiences, fights, and misunderstandings can be expected every now and then. But what is important at the end of the day, you find each other wrapped in each other's arms, to mend and heal, to build and grow, and give each other reassurance, comfort, and security that banish all the pain away. Then wake up each morning with renewed spirit and vigor to face life together no matter what.

Being in love is wonderful.  After all, to love and to be loved is still the greatest human experience! :)

Finding a beautiful gem that you come to treasure but only to lose it afterwards feels much worse than before you found it.

They say:

          It is better to try and fail at something than not having tried at all.

               It is better to gamble and lose than to just sit, dream, and do nothing.

                     It is better to hope and be disappointed than to dwell on skepticisms, negativism, and inactivity.
                        
                          It is better to get your heart stabbed early on and heal than getting it broken into pieces later beyond mending.
                            
                                It is better to love and get hurt than not loving at all.

I say: 

 
          Finding a beautiful gem that you come to treasure but only  lose it afterwards feels much worse than before you found it.

However these random thoughts and statements might seem, they may be correct or not, related or not, they may make sense or not, you can not really deny the fact that when you lose someone, IT HURTS!  It never fails to.

I hope I am making sense. Am I? or is it only because I have just lost a gem?

All good-looking men are... GAY?!

A conversation with a very candid friend led to very lively discussion about homosexuality. A number of his statements surprised me especially when he said, "Before, all good-looking men are straight unless proven otherwise. Now, all good-looking men are gay unless proven otherwise." Woooo, what a statement!

Quite an unfair statement, isn't it? But if indeed what he said was accurate enough, oh my.... what an epidemic!!!

After giving it some thought, my small mind led me to think that perhaps there's some truth to what he said. Good looking guys are at a greater risk of being exposed and oriented into homosexuality (bisexuality, initially) considering their "market value" and the attractive force it creates onto other guys who are already gay or bisexual. I think it would be logical to assume that more often than not good looking guys do get the most attention and eventually the highest chances of encountering m2m experiences. Would you agree?

Sexual orientation, for me, is a "learned" aspect of human sexuality. Of course, we cannot discount genetics. However, genetics can only do so much and studies show that gene function gets modified or altered in response to the influence of the environment. Therefore, what shapes a man's psychological being is, for the most part, played by all the myriad of the learning experiences he encountered from early childhood up to adulthood, ranging from the minutest, most insignificant ones to the most profound. Since it is learned, sexual orientation is "fluid" in that it CAN change over a person's lifetime. In a joint statement with other major American medical organizations, the American Psychiatric Association says that "different people realize at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual"

So building on the above statements, can most, if not all, good-looking guys be actually gay unless proven otherwise? I'll leave it to you to decide.

On a side note:  The most powerful conditioning factor that encourages a person to engage in certain acts and behavior again and again and again is... PLEASURE. So better be careful what kind of pleasures you constantly indulge yourself into... for it might be subtly and subconsciously "shaping" you.

Latest Poll Results: 1.) What would you do on your first date? 2.) Why would you would you join a gay social network site?

Guys, here are the results of the latest polls for the month of March 2010.

1. On your first date, you would rather...

• Kiss (20% of voters)
• Hold hands                  (33%)
• Pa-virgin effect             (26%)
• Go "all the the way"      (1%)
• All of the above            (13%)

2. Why would you join a gay social network site? (eg. g4m, manhunt, manjam, etc.)

• To have sex! Kelangan pa bang i-memorize ya!?                                     (15%)
• To find a good friend. Iba pa rin yung may kaibigang nakakaintindi sayo.  (0%)
• Just taking my chances on finding "Mr. Right"                                          (53%)
• Man, I love showing my hot body pics.                                                    (15%)
• My curiousity is killling me                                                                       (15%)

• What can you say about the result?
• Do you agree with it?
• What insights can you draw out of it?

Kindly leave your comments, opinions, and reactions in the comment box below



For your poll question suggestions, please send them to discreetyuppies@yahoo.com

Big Smile... haha.

I'm amazed these past few days, I get not less than a hundred visitors in my blog! Daily! Though, that can be very small compared to other established blogs. But for a newly-made blog like mine, happy na ako. haha. Sana tuloy tuloy na.


Guys, I have incorporated a "Monster Radio FM" stream. Hope you like it.  Pretty cool actually. I use it myself to listen to cool music when I'm online. I'll be adding more radio stations very soon. So Stay tuned. If  you haven't bookmarked this blog, you better do it! :)


I urge you to join the interactive Discreet Yuppies™ Forum. You can either access it by clicking the Forum link found at the right side of the page, or go directly to the embedded format found at the bottom of the page. Say whatever you wanna say, reply to the questions, give your reaction to others' opinions or give your own two cents, or start your own topic. Feel free to do as you please. Just maintain mutual respect with each other. So, don't hold yourself back and speak your mind and heart out. We need to get the ball rolling! :) If you have difficulty using the forum, just let me know. 


Now if you have anything to share (and I literally mean ANYTHING under the sun.haha) please do so. FYI, one of the primary reasons why I created this blog is for everybody to share their stories, experiences, thoughts, etc. for everyone to read, benefit and learn from (also to derive inspiration or even entertainment from). Only with your help can this blog thrive and grow! 

Finally, don't hesitate to give me constructive feedbacks or comments on how the site can be improved. Tell me about any features you want to be added or removed. It is really my goal to make this blog in a way that it primarily "serves" YOU. :)


I look forward to hear from you...

That's all for now. Please help promote the site. God bless!

A Must-have Gadget This 2010!!!

Guys, you gotta have this gadget!  It definitely can save you from trouble! When I saw this vid, I can hardly wait to post it here. So here it is... =)

Changing Habits: The Core of Self-Improvement

Habits can either be good or bad. They can either work for you or against you. They can either make your life easy or difficult. Depending on the kind of habitual behaviors you are forming, you are either preparing yourself for a life of defeat or or a life of victory.

Habits of good grooming, good health practices, excellence, thoroughness, honesty, punctuality, diligence in studying or at work are but a few examples of the good ones. On the other hand, habits of procrastination, tardiness, lying, gossiping, excessive masturbation, smoking among so many others are the ones that are on the opposite side, which obviously have deleterious effects and consequences.

Do you find yourself hooked on a certain habitual behavior? Do you desire to change? Lets take a closer view at the true nature of habits and discover practical steps that you may take towards your desired change. Read on.

What are habits?

• Habits are learned, not instinctive, routines of behavior that occur automatically and are repeated regularly, sometimes even without requiring thinking or intention. 
• The person may not be paying attention to or be conscious or aware of the behavior. However, when the behavior is brought to the person's attention, they may be able to control it.
•  Habits are easily learned but difficult to unlearn.
• Bad habits are more easily formed and learned than good ones.

How are habits formed?

• Key to establishing a habit is repetition of the act.
• The tendency of human behavior is to repeat or re-indulge in an act that gives oneself pleasure. It may be in the form of physical, emotional, and social pleasures. However, it is important to note that not all that are pleasurable is expedient.

How do habits affect you?

• Established habits lay the foundation of your character. 
• Good habits positively influence your life in general, in as much as bad habits do the exact opposite
• 
  
  Habits can be powerful enough to virtually enslave a person into a state of powerlessness. Hence, with habits, you can either be a slave to a good or to a bad "master."

Can established habits be changed or improved?

As said earlier, habits are learned. So as long as you have the capacity to learn (which means, as long as you are living), you can change your habits. Although, it would be much difficult to unlearn the already established ones, replacing them with new ones will eventually weaken their power in time. So there is always hope at self-improvement as long you have the willpower and a strong desire to change.

What are the stages of HABIT CHANGE?

Habit formation and establishment occurs in a stepwise manner. Basically it starts with a the initial act or thought that becomes repeated over and over through time, eventually becoming automatic in the long run.  In a similar manner, changing habits also occur in a stepwise fashion. We can call it the five stages of Habit Change.  Look carefully at what occurs in each stage as you may be unaware of what is going on.

1.    Precontemplation Stage

a.   You have at least one of the desctructive and self-defeating behaviours you need to change.

b.   You don’t admit you have a problem

c.   You see unhealthy habits in others but not on yourself

d.   You don’t want to change yourself

e.   You think others are to blame for your habits or difficulties

f.    Others might be conscious of your  behavior. (parents complaining of your staying up late at night, losing weight; teachers tell you your grades are a bit low; friend tells you you have no time, you are changing; employers might be complaining of your performance)

g.   There is denial and resistance to change

h.   If you stay in this stage, you are stuck, and you’ll surely be defeated.

i.    You need to be more conscious of your own self by doing a self-assessment.

2.   Contemplation Stage

a.   You acknowledge you have a problem, and you want to get unstucked.

b.   You begin to think seriously about solving your problem.

c.   You try understand its causes and you begin to investigate your options.

d.   You make definite plans to take action immediately or within the next few months.

e.    In this stage, you might be stuck for months or years if you don’t proceed to the next stage. Why?  You know you need to change, and you intend to... someday.. just as soon as.. after... when the rush is over...  You know your desire to change and you know where you're going (destination) but you are not quite ready to go. Giving up something you have come treasure is a hard thing to do.

f.    Here, you fear you’ll fail.  It’s hard to change.  You say to yourself, "I can’t possibly change. " So you keep searching for an easier, more dramatic, or more complete solution to your problem.

g.   Failure is guaranteed if you don't move on to the next stage.

3.  Preparation Stage

a.   Here you make plans and you prepare for the BIG change.  If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

b.  You greatly reduce your success probability if you suddenly wake up one morning, then say “This is the day” and dive headfirst into a change without realistically and specifically planning how you will make the change happen.

c.  Therefore, here you need to develop a detailed plan of action and you may announce your intention publicly. You may tell others, your friends, parents, colleagues, etc. They can help and support you in the process.

d.  Your awareness might be high and you may have already begun small behavioural changes.

e.   Important:  Before moving ahead with your plan (the next stage, which is ACTION), you need to know exactly HOW you will keep your awareness and commitment high throughout the struggles of the next stages. (Ask others to remind you. Post some notes/reminders.)

4.    Action Stage

a.   As Nike's slogan says "JUST DO IT!" then should you. And do it now!

b.   This action stage requires the most commitment and energy.  It’s where you actually execute your plan.

c.   Here, you receive the most recognition and support during this stage, because others can see that you’re working at it.

d.  You follow the plan you have made in stage 3, make revisions of your plan, and “keep on keeping on” even if its inconvenient or difficult.

e.  CAUTION: Action at this point doesn't necessarily mean that lasting change has been made.  Action is an essential part of the process, but failure to MAINTAIN  the new behaviour you are doing can SABOTAGE the progress you’ve made so far.

5.     Maintenance

a.  This stage is a long, ongoing process.

b.  This is the most difficult. (e.g. maintaining a diet for losing weight, sustaining punctuality, etc.)

c.  Here, you to need to be at constant vigilance and cautious in your dealings with those temptations that can draw you back into the old, destructive pattern.

d.  You need hard work to consolidate the gains you've made during the first four stages and to PREVENT RELAPSE. DON’T SLIP BACK!!!

e.  Celebrate achieving your goals.  Treat yourself! But don’t relax and tell yourself, “Whew! I’m glad It’s over!” because it is not.

f.   Develop a menu of mental and behavioral coping strategies that will take you through the times when your feet begin to slip. Keep in mind:

1.   The more addictive the habit was, the MORE FIERCE the battle would be

2.   In times of stress and problems or conflicts, people are most likely to slip.

3.   Once you slip, you can fall back to previous stages or worse, right back to the start and begin the process all over again!  Sayang and hard work mo...

Change is possible. Don’t give up! If you have set backs, don’t stay there. Pick yourself up, dust off, and try again. This time,with a revised and better plan. As I said earlier, so as long as you have the capacity to learn, which means as long as you are alive, you can scrap those bad habits off your system and begin to replace them with good ones. There is always hope at self-improvement as long you have the willpower and a strong desire to change. Persistence is the key.

The Value of Time

Time doesn't wait. Can the world and the rest of the universe freeze for a moment? Woe unto the procrastinators and the sluggish.

Time wasted, is time lost forever. Who can undo time? Can you go back to the past and make amendments?

Time is money. Each tick of the clock counts. Productivity is greatest when things are done in a timely manner.

Time is gold. It is the most precious "commodity" one can have. Opportunities lost seldom come back.

Time is either a friend or an enemy. It can either work for you or against you.

So manage your time wisely. Live each day as if it were your last. Live life to the fullest.  Make the most of your time. Each second counts!

Start of the Beginning: "I don't know if love could win over lust and urge"

This article is an original Discreet Yuppies™ reader contribution
Author: Erratico


I want to do things that are forbidden. I want try stuffs that might curse me and crucify me as a sinner. I want to break the rules and go beyond the traditions and norms. I want to be bad. I want to be free.

For years, I've been trying to live like a normal guy. But I'm not normal. I'm different. And being different is really hard. I'm bisexual. Someone that is breaking and living his life with two sides. I don't know how it started. I never thought that this would be hard as I grew older. But then, how I wish I could simply ignore that other side of me and be normal and just be a real man.

Before I thought that this was just a stage of identity crisis. But then at age of 25, I guess i can't fool myself with that lame excuse. I already accepted that I'm bisexual...that somehow I am attracted to guys. But what differentiates me from other common bisexuals is that I'm still trying not to do the "act".

Yup, I still don't have sexual encounters with the same sex and either opposite sex. In short, I'm still a certified virgin. I'm an NGSB, which means No Girlfriend Since Birth. Well, it's been a mystery because during my younger days I courted a lot of girls. I just don't know why none of them prospered. Until, I discovered that I'm attracted to guys also. My first serious attraction was with my bestfriend. Suddenly, my like to him became lust. There was a time when because of this dilemma I decided to avoid him. For years, I tried not to see him. But then after so many years, when I thought that all the lust is gone, I tried to reconcile with the friendship but then it still there. Then, I came to the point that I realized that I'm not only attracted to him but to other guys also...that I'm bisexual.

Now I'm bothererd where my life is heading to. I'm in the middle of the crossroad trying to choose what path I should take. I guess I just understand why I still don't have a girlfriend. Coz I'm afraid. I don't know if my masculinity could sustain their expectations. I don't know if love could win over lust and urge. What if fate plays on me and give me a temptation while I'm in a relationship? What if I totally become gay but in the end a girl of my dreams comes along? I'm afraid to choose coz I'm afraid to make mistakes. They said life is a gamble and to lose and win are the consequences. But the only goal is to be happy. And it's up to you to play your cards but in the end future can only tell what will be the outcome.

I want to play life's game. I want to see what 's hiding besides that what ifs. I want to explore more about myself and know the real me. I might be do something that is beyond my normal cliche. I want to find the answer. And maybe, I'll be surprised what I'll find out, that afterall those dilemmas and confusions, I'm not really the person I thought I was.

Improve Your Relationships

Original article found at: Associated Content

The best way to successful relationships is to understand yourself. If you enter into relationships expecting others to define you, your relationships are doomed before they start. However, how you define yourself is not necessarily how others see you. If you believe you are strong, but others perceive you as weak, look at how you are presenting yourself to the world. The more you get into the real you, that is truly understand your own attitudes and behaviors, the better your chances will be for real success. The goal is to have a realistic assessment of yourself because only then will you know what characteristics you are looking for in others.

Do not pigeonhole yourself into relationships; have a sense of independence. Continue to seek out new experiences and friendships for opportunities to learn something new that will enhance the relationships; do not cling or feel threatened. Being together does not mean you are joined at the hip. If you are not allowed to have friends or seek new adventures, it may be a clue to sever ties. Life is about growing.

Do not be afraid to listen to the views of others even if they are in opposition to your own thinking. It is through intellectual diversity that you learn and grow in your relationships. If you only make friends with those who think like you, sooner of later you will bore each other to death. Other points of view may assist in changing any unreal perceptions you have of yourself, and aid you in becoming the real you, engendering more fruitful and enduring relationships.

Do not be afraid to adopt some of the attitudes and behaviors of others who you respect and admire. Determine what motivates their thinking, ascertain how they respond to different situations in their lives, and focus on their interpersonal skills. If you would like to know how you're progressing, seek out a third person whom you trust and test your new skills on him or her. Learn to appreciate constructive criticism.

Do not criticize without offering alternative suggestions or proposals. Rather than say "You ought to," you might say, "Have you considered." Anytime you believe you need to criticize, stop and think about what you are about to say. How would you respond if you were the receiver? There is a ton of truth in the old adage "treat others as you want to be treated."

Do not interrupt others during conversations and listen with all your senses. Do not pretend to listen while you are formulating a response. Your body language will give you away each time. Determine whether you're being asked for input or merely to listen. There is nothing more irritating than receiving unsolicited advice.

Do not try to change others to how you believe they should be; be yourself and allow them to be themselves. If you don't like how they act, there's another old adage that reeks with truth "there's a lid for every pot." Appreciate and accept or decline and reject: Honesty is always THE key component in successful relationships. Do not sacrifice your true self or force others to sacrifice themselves to hold on to relationships.

Do not expect others to make or keep you happy as the source of true happiness comes from within. Always look for things that will bring you joy. Smile often and at times laugh out loud, for no reason other than being alive, until each becomes a habit. You will find that happiness will find you, no matter where you are, if you are always prepared for its arrival.

Do express your love and appreciation at every opportunity. There can never be too much love. Leave love notes in books or around the house for your lover or send cards to friends for no reason other than you're happy they are in your life. Always remember, if you want a successful relationship, be a friend a truly great friend.

Three Things That Only Feel Like Love But Are Far From It

Author: Francis K. Githinji (an online dating expert)

Shared by a reader of Discreet Yuppies™

Love is a tricky emotion. There are some things that feel like love but they are much too superficial to be the real thing. Real love takes time and doesn’t happen over night. Here are three things that people often confuse for love.

Lust

Lust is the feeling that is often mistaken for love at first sight. Lust is an intense and sudden attraction to somebody you hardly know. It is mistaken for love because the attraction is so strong.


Lust can feel like love because the feelings of attraction are strong and all-consuming. The emotions stirred up by lust can feel very real but they are based on a fantasy. To love somebody you must know them well but many people fall in lust while they are still strangers. What people in lust fall for is a fantasy of what might be and reality can get lost in the excitement.

Overwhelmed by physical attraction people in lust can’t keep their hands off of each other. They think about each other constantly and talk about one another all the time. Lust is a happy feeling brought on by passionate attraction. If you are inexperienced in matters of the heart it is very easy to mistake all that passion for love.

Lust differs from love like night differs from day. Lust happens in the early phase of a relationship when people don’t yet know each other. Lust is based on a fantasy, and the fantasy and reality don’t always mesh up. This is where lust runs out of steam.

Although physical attraction is definitely a key ingredient in any romantic relationship, love is more than just a physical longing. If a relationship is all about physical attraction it is based on lust. Really loving another person takes time and it can’t be based on physical attraction alone.

Obsession

Obsessions are often mistaken for love because people rationalize the crazy feelings they are having. They assume that it must be love if the other person is always on their mind. Obsession is similar to lust but it is much more misleading and destructive. While lust is often fleeting, fading as two people come to know each other better, obsession sticks around.


The more time and effort invested in an unhealthy obsession the more intense the obsession can become. People in an obsessed state have a one track mind where the other person is concerned and they often lose touch with who they are as an individual. This loss of individuality creates a vicious circle of behavior where the obsessed person grows more and more dependant on the other person to bolster their sense of self.

Even unrequited love, love that is not returned, can become an overwhelming obsession. When one person believes they are in a relationship that doesn’t really exist, or when one person is more invested in an existing relationship than the other, the foundation for an obsession has been laid.

Real love is nurturing and helps people grow but obsession is debilitating. If you feel like you have lost yourself, if you are always striving to please your partner without them doing the same for you, and if you find yourself making all decisions in your life based on the feelings and needs of the other person you could be dealing with obsession.

Rebounding

A rebound is a relationship that starts up very quickly after another relationship has ended. Rebounds are rarely based on love but are really a way of alleviating the loneliness people feel when a relationship ends.
Rebounding can feel like love for the simple reason that the people involved want to be in love. They are used to the security of being in love and more than anything else they want to feel that security again. They convince themselves that they are in love when they are actually missing the safety and comfort of the relationship they left behind.

If an old relationship keeps interfering with the progress of a new relationship it could mean that the relationship is a rebound. When somebody is on the rebound they are not entirely over their previous relationship. They may still be trying to work out unresolved issues from that relationship. Rebound relationships may feel like love but they are still impacted by unsettled feelings from the past.

Body Building Tips to Make You FAT and hot! (Being FAT: The healthier way of life)

FAT men are sexy and attractive. They're hot! And if you want these aesthetic advantages, I say that you should rather be FAT, too! Plus, being FAT is living a healthier way of life. Could I probably be joking??? Definitely not. I am dead serious! JJJ   

Fit And Toned men are beautiful pieces of sculpted work or art -- nice to touch, nice to hold, nice to behold… haha. I’m not trying to be pervy here, ok?  In addition to that, studies show that physically fit men do not only look good, have better self-image and higher  “market value” but generally they also live longer than the average guys. So if you haven’t hopped into the train of physical fitness and muscle training, you better do so.  Not only for the aesthetic and self-image rewards, but for obvious health reasons.

Now here are some quick run-through of very basic but important information about body building. Most of you must have known these by heart. However for those who don’t and for those who need some memory refresher, I hope you will find the following tips and facts useful.

FACTS AND TIPS ON STEADY, GRADUAL MUSCLE GROWTH

·         Key concepts of weight training:

a.        Challenge your muscles so it will adapt by growing! Push them to their limits, but don’t go beyond. Your muscle responds and adapts  to the challenge by growing in size.

b.       Train with intensity. Work out your muscle to exhaustion to give it adequate “challenge” and “stimulation.”

c.        Assist your muscles’ growth with proper nutrition and rest

                                                               i.      Nutrition supplies the muscles what it needs to grow. Eat healthy. Ensure protein in the diet.

                                                              ii.      Rest gives the muscles time to grow.

d.       WORK WITH YOUR BODY, NOT AGAINST YOUR BODY

                                                               i.      Your body is a wonderful machine. It knows what it needs, it tells you when its limits are reached, but it is not like “literal” machines made of metals because it can build and repair itself given the proper “tools,” training, and raw materials.

                                                              ii.      Body building is about being conscious of your body’s dynamics.

                                                            iii.      Be sensitive to your body’s needs.

·         Work out at least three times per week. Overtraining may lead to atrophy (shrinking) of muscles rather than muscle gain.

·         Ideally, you should work out at 1 hour work per session (muscle training proper). Do not go below 30 minutes per session.

·         Do a direct stimulation of a muscle only once per week

·         For every set of movement, keep your repetition at 8-12 reps/set. It is recommended by weight training experts that you do not go below and beyond this, in order to achieve optimal results.

a.        If you find it very easy to accomplish this number of reps, you are using too light a weight. Increase the weight/resistance.

b.       If you find it impossible to reach 8, decrease the weight or the resistance.

·         The recommended number of movement sets per muscle groups vary:

a.        2-4 sets for small muscles such as your biceps, triceps, abs, calves.

b.       5-7 sets for large muscle groups such as those on the thigh, chest, back.

·         Never train for more than 2 consecutive days.

·         Ideally for beginners, train a certain muscle group only once per week.

·         Train the weak body parts first.

·         Train with weights that you can easily lift. As said earlier, too light and too heavy weights/resistance won’t do much good in your training.

·         Male benchmark. The following can serve as your gauge if you have trained adequately enough and have reached healthy, adequate muscle strength.

a.        1 set of 80 push ups

b.       1 set of 20 chin ups

c.        1 set of 20 1-leg squats

d.       1 set of 40 dips

e.       1 set of 20 pull ups.

·         Flip your program upside down every 3 weeks

a.        Large muscle groups first, and vice versa

b.       Small muscles last, or vice versa

·         Nutrition Nutrition Nutrition

a.        As said earlier to gain maximal muscle mass, you need to challenge and tire your muscle to stimulate it to grow. Since muscles are primarily made up of protein (of course along with >70% water, inasmuch as our entire body is) this muscle growth cannot take place optimally if we don’t supply our muscles with its building blocks for growth. Therefore, it is recommended that:

                                                               i.      You consume 1 gram protein/lb body of body weight. So if you weigh 150 pounds, then you should at least consume 150 grams of protein in your diet.

                                                              ii.      Rather than 3 big meals per day, eat 6 small meals per day. It hastens optimal digestion and absorption, and likewise keeps your stomach volume smaller.

                                                            iii.      FYI: a single egg has about 7grams of protein (more or less in 50-50 proportion from egg white and egg yolk).

b.       It is ideal to consume protein food within 90-minutes post-exercise

·         REST

a.        The rest intervals between your training sessions are actually as important as the training periods themselves. Rest allows the muscle to repair and build itself up. This is the basis why it is recommended that you do not train your muscles for two consecutive days.

·         FREE WEIGHTS ARE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN MACHINES!

a.        Machines make your muscles move in certain unnatural positions.

b.       Whereas, free weights not only allows natural muscle movements, but also gives an added advantage of training the body to maintain “stability” during the movements.

·         Movements during exercise should be SLOW, CONTROLLED, and STEADY. Don’t use momentum (speed) as this will defeat your objective of providing maximum resistance, challenge, and stimulation to the muscles.

·         3 best muscle building routines. The more muscles are involved in a certain set, the better! So it follows, compound muscle movements are better than isolated exercises, although the latter is needed for targeted specific muscle growth.

a.        Bench Press

b.       Deadlift

c.        Squat

·         Cardio burns fat: Burn those ugly extra fat by doing short, intense cardio exercises!

·         Employ warm up and cool-down exercises.

I hope that these tips and facts on muscle training have been helpful!  

Always remember, being FAT is healthy and being FAT is sexy! JJJ