Unintentional Promiscuity

What? Untintentional promiscuity? Is there such???

I tell you there is! J

Wikipedia defines promiscuity as sex with relatively many partners.

Now, indulging in promiscuous acts involves conscious decision and active effort. In short, there is intent to engage in such activity. I call this as intentional promiscuity. So then if there is such a thing as intentional promiscuity, there must also be an unintentional promiscuity.

Intentionally promiscuous men are those who are in the habit of having sex with random men just for the purpose of satisfying their sexual needs.  When you go to gay dating sites, they are typically the ones with very suggestive headlines, steamy pictures, and sexually inviting write ups. So here, we see that the intention is to have sex, for the reason of satisfying sexual needs.

On the other hand, unintentionally promiscuous men usually do not actually claim or see themselves as promiscuous. I personally coin the term “unintentional promiscuity” to refer to such situation of homosexual and bisexual men having a series of multiple sexual partners, but without the original intention of being such.  Unintentionally promiscuous men would often maintain that sex was not really their primary intention; it just happened.  Sounds ridiculous? Probably not.  Why? How come?

Somehow, there is some truth to that.  Unintentional promiscuity can happen to anyone. Particularly among discreet gay and bi men, there is that universal longing for someone to fill that empty spot within. This longing for love and affection is strong and enduring.  It is felt as a need to have someone special. However, finding a decent, “perfect” male partner/lover to fulfill that emotional need is difficult.  Finding the perfect guy is quite impossible. This is particularly true to choosy ones who set high and stiff standards on who and how their partner should be. This leads them into attempts at finding and establish a worthwhile relationship with a nice guy that comes along, which more oftenly involves sex. However, more often than not, things fail and the cycle continues again. Guy after another guy… trying, looking, hoping… wishing the best guy to fulfill that longing for someone special to complete and fill that empty spot within would come. And before long, the number of guys stacks up.  So does that now becomes a case of promiscuity? Yes, definitely. Done intentionally? Apparently not.

So is this difference significant? Does this difference sets one a better state than the other? Would a red-colored shirt look different from a white shirt that fell on a basin of red dye? You decide. :)

Finding a beautiful gem that you come to treasure but only to lose it afterwards feels much worse than before you found it.

They say:

          It is better to try and fail at something than not having tried at all.

               It is better to gamble and lose than to just sit, dream, and do nothing.

                     It is better to hope and be disappointed than to dwell on skepticisms, negativism, and inactivity.
                        
                          It is better to get your heart stabbed early on and heal than getting it broken into pieces later beyond mending.
                            
                                It is better to love and get hurt than not loving at all.

I say: 

 
          Finding a beautiful gem that you come to treasure but only  lose it afterwards feels much worse than before you found it.

However these random thoughts and statements might seem, they may be correct or not, related or not, they may make sense or not, you can not really deny the fact that when you lose someone, IT HURTS!  It never fails to.

I hope I am making sense. Am I? or is it only because I have just lost a gem?

All good-looking men are... GAY?!

A conversation with a very candid friend led to very lively discussion about homosexuality. A number of his statements surprised me especially when he said, "Before, all good-looking men are straight unless proven otherwise. Now, all good-looking men are gay unless proven otherwise." Woooo, what a statement!

Quite an unfair statement, isn't it? But if indeed what he said was accurate enough, oh my.... what an epidemic!!!

After giving it some thought, my small mind led me to think that perhaps there's some truth to what he said. Good looking guys are at a greater risk of being exposed and oriented into homosexuality (bisexuality, initially) considering their "market value" and the attractive force it creates onto other guys who are already gay or bisexual. I think it would be logical to assume that more often than not good looking guys do get the most attention and eventually the highest chances of encountering m2m experiences. Would you agree?

Sexual orientation, for me, is a "learned" aspect of human sexuality. Of course, we cannot discount genetics. However, genetics can only do so much and studies show that gene function gets modified or altered in response to the influence of the environment. Therefore, what shapes a man's psychological being is, for the most part, played by all the myriad of the learning experiences he encountered from early childhood up to adulthood, ranging from the minutest, most insignificant ones to the most profound. Since it is learned, sexual orientation is "fluid" in that it CAN change over a person's lifetime. In a joint statement with other major American medical organizations, the American Psychiatric Association says that "different people realize at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual"

So building on the above statements, can most, if not all, good-looking guys be actually gay unless proven otherwise? I'll leave it to you to decide.

On a side note:  The most powerful conditioning factor that encourages a person to engage in certain acts and behavior again and again and again is... PLEASURE. So better be careful what kind of pleasures you constantly indulge yourself into... for it might be subtly and subconsciously "shaping" you.