Thursday, March 25, 2010

Big Smile... haha.

I'm amazed these past few days, I get not less than a hundred visitors in my blog! Daily! Though, that can be very small compared to other established blogs. But for a newly-made blog like mine, happy na ako. haha. Sana tuloy tuloy na.


Guys, I have incorporated a "Monster Radio FM" stream. Hope you like it.  Pretty cool actually. I use it myself to listen to cool music when I'm online. I'll be adding more radio stations very soon. So Stay tuned. If  you haven't bookmarked this blog, you better do it! :)


I urge you to join the interactive Discreet Yuppies™ Forum. You can either access it by clicking the Forum link found at the right side of the page, or go directly to the embedded format found at the bottom of the page. Say whatever you wanna say, reply to the questions, give your reaction to others' opinions or give your own two cents, or start your own topic. Feel free to do as you please. Just maintain mutual respect with each other. So, don't hold yourself back and speak your mind and heart out. We need to get the ball rolling! :) If you have difficulty using the forum, just let me know. 


Now if you have anything to share (and I literally mean ANYTHING under the sun.haha) please do so. FYI, one of the primary reasons why I created this blog is for everybody to share their stories, experiences, thoughts, etc. for everyone to read, benefit and learn from (also to derive inspiration or even entertainment from). Only with your help can this blog thrive and grow! 

Finally, don't hesitate to give me
constructive feedbacks or comments on how the site can be improved. Tell me about any features you want to be added or removed. It is really my goal to make this blog in a way that it primarily "serves" YOU. :)



I look forward to hear from you...

That's all for now.
Please help promote the site. God bless!


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A Must-have Gadget This 2010!!!

Guys, you gotta have this gadget!  It definitely can save you from trouble! When I saw this vid, I can hardly wait to post it here. So here it is... =)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Changing Habits: The Core of Self-Improvement

Habits can either be good or bad. They can either work for you or against you. They can either make your life easy or difficult. Depending on the kind of habitual behaviors you are forming, you are either preparing yourself for a life of defeat or or a life of victory.

Habits of good grooming, good health practices, excellence, thoroughness, honesty, punctuality, diligence in studying or at work are but a few examples of the good ones. On the other hand, habits of procrastination, tardiness, lying, gossiping, excessive masturbation, smoking among so many others are the ones that are on the opposite side, which obviously have deleterious effects and consequences.

Do you find yourself hooked on a certain habitual behavior? Do you desire to change? Lets take a closer view at the true nature of habits and discover practical steps that you may take towards your desired change. Read on.


What are habits?
  • Habits are learned, not instinctive, routines of behavior that occur automatically and are repeated regularly, sometimes even without requiring thinking or intention. 
  • The person may not be paying attention to or be conscious or aware of the behavior. However, when the behavior is brought to the person's attention, they may be able to control it.
  •  Habits are easily learned but difficult to unlearn.
  • Bad habits are more easily formed and learned than good ones.

How are habits formed?
  • Key to establishing a habit is repetition of the act.
  • The tendency of human behavior is to repeat or re-indulge in an act that gives oneself pleasure. It may be in the form of physical, emotional, and social pleasures. However, it is important to note that not all that are pleasurable is expedient.

How do habits affect you?
  • Established habits lay the foundation of your character. 
  • Good habits positively influence your life in general, in as much as bad habits do the exact opposite

  • Habits can be powerful enough to virtually enslave a person into a state of powerlessness. Hence, with habits, you can either be a slave to a good or to a bad "master."



Can established habits be changed or improved?

As said earlier, habits are learned. So as long as you have the capacity to learn (which means, as long as you are living), you can change your habits. Although, it would be much difficult to unlearn the already established ones, replacing them with new ones will eventually weaken their power in time. So there is always hope at self-improvement as long you have the willpower and a strong desire to change.


What are the stages of HABIT CHANGE?

Habit formation and establishment occurs in a stepwise manner. Basically it starts with a the initial act or thought that becomes repeated over and over through time, eventually becoming automatic in the long run.  In a similar manner, changing habits also occur in a stepwise fashion. We can call it the five stages of Habit Change.  Look carefully at what occurs in each stage as you may be unaware of what is going on.


1.    Precontemplation Stage
a.   You have at least one of the desctructive and self-defeating behaviours you need to change.
b.   You don’t admit you have a problem
c.   You see unhealthy habits in others but not on yourself
d.   You don’t want to change yourself
e.   You think others are to blame for your habits or difficulties
f.    Others might be conscious of your  behavior. (parents complaining of your staying up late at night, losing weight; teachers tell you your grades are a bit low; friend tells you you have no time, you are changing; employers might be complaining of your performance)
g.   There is denial and resistance to change
h.   If you stay in this stage, you are stuck, and you’ll surely be defeated.
i.    You need to be more conscious of your own self by doing a self-assessment.

2.   Contemplation Stage
a.   You acknowledge you have a problem, and you want to get unstucked.
b.   You begin to think seriously about solving your problem.
c.   You try understand its causes and you begin to investigate your options.
d.   You make definite plans to take action immediately or within the next few months.
e.    In this stage, you might be stuck for months or years if you don’t proceed to the next stage. Why?  You know you need to change, and you intend to... someday.. just as soon as.. after... when the rush is over...  You know your desire to change and you know where you're going (destination) but you are not quite ready to go. Giving up something you have come treasure is a hard thing to do.
f.    Here, you fear you’ll fail.  It’s hard to change.  You say to yourself, "I can’t possibly change. " So you keep searching for an easier, more dramatic, or more complete solution to your problem.
g.   Failure is guaranteed if you don't move on to the next stage.

3.  Preparation Stage
a.   Here you make plans and you prepare for the BIG change.  If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
b.  You greatly reduce your success probability if you suddenly wake up one morning, then say “This is the day” and dive headfirst into a change without realistically and specifically planning how you will make the change happen.
c.  Therefore, here you need to develop a detailed plan of action and you may announce your intention publicly. You may tell others, your friends, parents, colleagues, etc. They can help and support you in the process.
d.  Your awareness might be high and you may have already begun small behavioural changes.
e.   Important:  Before moving ahead with your plan (the next stage, which is ACTION), you need to know exactly HOW you will keep your awareness and commitment high throughout the struggles of the next stages. (Ask others to remind you. Post some notes/reminders.)

4.    Action Stage
a.   As Nike's slogan says "JUST DO IT!" then should you. And do it now!
b.   This action stage requires the most commitment and energy.  It’s where you actually execute your plan.
c.   Here, you receive the most recognition and support during this stage, because others can see that you’re working at it.
d.  You follow the plan you have made in stage 3, make revisions of your plan, and “keep on keeping on” even if its inconvenient or difficult.
e.  CAUTION: Action at this point doesn't necessarily mean that lasting change has been made.  Action is an essential part of the process, but failure to MAINTAIN  the new behaviour you are doing can SABOTAGE the progress you’ve made so far.

5.     Maintenance
a.  This stage is a long, ongoing process.
b.  This is the most difficult. (e.g. maintaining a diet for losing weight, sustaining punctuality, etc.)
c.  Here, you to need to be at constant vigilance and cautious in your dealings with those temptations that can draw you back into the old, destructive pattern.
d.  You need hard work to consolidate the gains you've made during the first four stages and to PREVENT RELAPSE. DON’T SLIP BACK!!!
e.  Celebrate achieving your goals.  Treat yourself! But don’t relax and tell yourself, “Whew! I’m glad It’s over!” because it is not.
f.   Develop a menu of mental and behavioral coping strategies that will take you through the times when your feet begin to slip. Keep in mind:
1.   The more addictive the habit was, the MORE FIERCE the battle would be
2.   In times of stress and problems or conflicts, people are most likely to slip.
3.   Once you slip, you can fall back to previous stages or worse, right back to the start and begin the process all over again!  Sayang and hard work mo...

Change is possible. Don’t give up! If you have set backs, don’t stay there. Pick yourself up, dust off, and try again. This time,with a revised and better plan. As I said earlier, so as long as you have the capacity to learn, which means as long as you are alive, you can scrap those bad habits off your system and begin to replace them with good ones. There is always hope at self-improvement as long you have the willpower and a strong desire to change. Persistence is the key.


The Value of Time

Time doesn't wait. Can the world and the rest of the universe freeze for a moment? Woe unto the procrastinators and the sluggish.

Time wasted, is time lost forever. Who can undo time? Can you go back to the past and make amendments?

Time is money. Each tick of the clock counts. Productivity is greatest when things are done in a timely manner.

Time is gold. It is the most precious "commodity" one can have. Opportunities lost seldom come back.

Time is either a friend or an enemy. It can either work for you or against you.

So manage your time wisely. Live each day as if it were your last. Live life to the fullest.  Make the most of your time. Each second counts!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Start of the Beginning: "I don't know if love could win over lust and urge"

This article is an original Discreet Yuppies™ reader contribution
Author:
Erratico


I want to do things that are forbidden. I want try stuffs that might curse me and crucify me as a sinner. I want to break the rules and go beyond the traditions and norms. I want to be bad. I want to be free.

For years, I've been trying to live like a normal guy. But I'm not normal. I'm different. And being different is really hard. I'm bisexual. Someone that is breaking and living his life with two sides. I don't know how it started. I never thought that this would be hard as I grew older. But then, how I wish I could simply ignore that other side of me and be normal and just be a real man.

Before I thought that this was just a stage of identity crisis. But then at age of 25, I guess i can't fool myself with that lame excuse. I already accepted that I'm bisexual...that somehow I am attracted to guys. But what differentiates me from other common bisexuals is that I'm still trying not to do the "act".

Yup, I still don't have sexual encounters with the same sex and either opposite sex. In short, I'm still a certified virgin. I'm an NGSB, which means No Girlfriend Since Birth. Well, it's been a mystery because during my younger days I courted a lot of girls. I just don't know why none of them prospered. Until, I discovered that I'm attracted to guys also. My first serious attraction was with my bestfriend. Suddenly, my like to him became lust. There was a time when because of this dilemma I decided to avoid him. For years, I tried not to see him. But then after so many years, when I thought that all the lust is gone, I tried to reconcile with the friendship but then it still there. Then, I came to the point that I realized that I'm not only attracted to him but to other guys also...that I'm bisexual.

Now I'm bothererd where my life is heading to. I'm in the middle of the crossroad trying to choose what path I should take. I guess I just understand why I still don't have a girlfriend. Coz I'm afraid. I don't know if my masculinity could sustain their expectations. I don't know if love could win over lust and urge. What if fate plays on me and give me a temptation while I'm in a relationship? What if I totally become gay but in the end a girl of my dreams comes along? I'm afraid to choose coz I'm afraid to make mistakes. They said life is a gamble and to lose and win are the consequences. But the only goal is to be happy. And it's up to you to play your cards but in the end future can only tell what will be the outcome.

I want to play life's game. I want to see what 's hiding besides that what ifs. I want to explore more about myself and know the real me. I might be do something that is beyond my normal cliche. I want to find the answer. And maybe, I'll be surprised what I'll find out, that afterall those dilemmas and confusions, I'm not really the person I thought I was.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Improve Your Relationships


Original article found at: Associated Content

The best way to successful relationships is to understand yourself. If you enter into relationships expecting others to define you, your relationships are doomed before they start. However, how you define yourself is not necessarily how others see you. If you believe you are strong, but others perceive you as weak, look at how you are presenting yourself to the world. The more you get into the real you, that is truly understand your own attitudes and behaviors, the better your chances will be for real success. The goal is to have a realistic assessment of yourself because only then will you know what characteristics you are looking for in others.

Do not pigeonhole yourself into relationships; have a sense of independence. Continue to seek out new experiences and friendships for opportunities to learn something new that will enhance the relationships; do not cling or feel threatened. Being together does not mean you are joined at the hip. If you are not allowed to have friends or seek new adventures, it may be a clue to sever ties. Life is about growing.
Do not be afraid to listen to the views of others even if they are in opposition to your own thinking. It is through intellectual diversity that you learn and grow in your relationships. If you only make friends with those who think like you, sooner of later you will bore each other to death. Other points of view may assist in changing any unreal perceptions you have of yourself, and aid you in becoming the real you, engendering more fruitful and enduring relationships.

Do not be afraid to adopt some of the attitudes and behaviors of others who you respect and admire. Determine what motivates their thinking, ascertain how they respond to different situations in their lives, and focus on their interpersonal skills. If you would like to know how you're progressing, seek out a third person whom you trust and test your new skills on him or her. Learn to appreciate constructive criticism.

Do not criticize without offering alternative suggestions or proposals. Rather than say "You ought to," you might say, "Have you considered." Anytime you believe you need to criticize, stop and think about what you are about to say. How would you respond if you were the receiver? There is a ton of truth in the old adage "treat others as you want to be treated."

Do not interrupt others during conversations and listen with all your senses. Do not pretend to listen while you are formulating a response. Your body language will give you away each time. Determine whether you're being asked for input or merely to listen. There is nothing more irritating than receiving unsolicited advice.

Do not try to change others to how you believe they should be; be yourself and allow them to be themselves. If you don't like how they act, there's another old adage that reeks with truth "there's a lid for every pot." Appreciate and accept or decline and reject: Honesty is always THE key component in successful relationships. Do not sacrifice your true self or force others to sacrifice themselves to hold on to relationships.

Do not expect others to make or keep you happy as the source of true happiness comes from within. Always look for things that will bring you joy. Smile often and at times laugh out loud, for no reason other than being alive, until each becomes a habit. You will find that happiness will find you, no matter where you are, if you are always prepared for its arrival.

Do express your love and appreciation at every opportunity. There can never be too much love. Leave love notes in books or around the house for your lover or send cards to friends for no reason other than you're happy they are in your life. Always remember, if you want a successful relationship, be a friend a truly great friend.